I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
