If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
