Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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