It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
