i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
