Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
