I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
