After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
