Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
