The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
