I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
