Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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