no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
