Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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