Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
