you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize