He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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