They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
