dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
