You just made me feel so damn special
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
