He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
