you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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