i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
