I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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