Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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