you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
