My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
