All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
