dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
