if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
