trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
sex in a hospital.. check
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
