Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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