If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize