it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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