Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
