Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
