omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
