just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
