I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
