I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
