he thought i was a dude.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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