So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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