I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
