I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Two words: nipple clamps
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