if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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