Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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