Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
