In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm just crazy horny about you
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
