I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
