i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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