do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
