please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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