Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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