apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize