i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
