they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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