Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
