her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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