MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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