She announced her abortion via fbk
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
