New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
