How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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