I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
