She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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