Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
