fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
